Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

What’s going on?????? Oh my god this is horrible. How much longer is this going to last? I eat so much and so little at the same time. I would never make it in jail. Oh my god.


The hand soap on my kitchen counter fills me with shame — but the worst part is that it doesn’t even smell that nice.

Photo by Daniel Salgado on Unsplash

During one of my retail blackouts, I found myself in front a display of familiar looking amber bottles in a homeware store. Something about them was a little bit off. There were similar to —although certainly not — Aesop. From far away they looked just the same. I stepped closer to read the label.

KROPP.

What?! How crass. What does that word sound like? “Crock of shit” and “crap” mashed together. Crop, to cut down or reduce. You cropped your ex out of that photo. A riding crop, like the one wielded by Miss Trunchbull. Crop, like crop circles, stamped into…


Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

They say you can tell when somebody has never visited New York when they walk slow and look up at all the buildings. They also say that a bagel should be thick, dense, and spongey. You never know what you’re gonna get in the Big Apple, which is an omnipotent sentient being as much as it is a place.

I know my way around the city because I’ve been inundated with New York content my entire life. I know, for example, that the L train stretches from Times Square (for disgusting tourists only) to Williamsburg (stroller moms [who are bad])…


Icons8, a studio that creates free resources for designers, has released their full library of 100,000 AI-generated faces with lazy eye.

The press release boasts that these faces, who are MODELS WHO DON’T EXIST will allow creators to avoid distribution issues like copyright infringement claims and chains of approval.


Malcontent Strategy

San Francisco is an expansive city famous for its counter-culture hippie moment, bustling tech scene, and being the setting of That’s So Raven. Everywhere you look, there are pigeons, startup success stories, and competing car sharing services.

It’s a city where all the men are seven feet tall, clad in Patagonia vests and pressed pants with clean leather shoes. The women, largely underrepresented in tech, haul their laptops in that one Goyard tote. Nobody is dating each other, but for some reason everyone just got back from a small wedding about an hour away — it was really cute and…


Malcontent Strategy

Have you ever made a phone call? It’s often fatal.

How many people talk to a bot instead of their spouse? Leading analysts predict that by 2020, 85% of spouses will be chatbots.

Photo by Alex Knight on Unsplash

Your Starbucks order will be fully personalized, automated, and tailored with extra whip cream by a chatbot with a bachelor degree in a green apron.

Artificial Intelligence is not a buzzword. It’s my wife!

Conversational commerce? No, it’s not a cult, nor is it augmented reality. Brick and mortar isn’t dead — but that’s where we keep the bodies.

Improving the customer experience starts with calling a…


Navel Gazing

Yesterday evening, YouTuber James Charles trotted down the Met Gala’s pink carpet wearing satin parachute pants and a top made from safety pins, dressed by Mr. Alexander Wang. Whether or not that constitutes as camp is still to be determined, but Charles’ presence signified a turning point for representation in the mainstream media — that of influencers.

A milestone, maybe, for people whose vocation is declining plastic straws.

Do influencers need representation? Are we, in 2019, still operating under the assumption that mainstream media and social media are totally separate entities? We know that social media can affect the outcome…


Malcontent Strategy

The customer journey is filled with violent confrontations — and some are more valuable than others.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Every face you see on the street is hiding something. Although happiness can coexist with immense pain and sadness, more often than not, most people are carrying the weight of tragedy beneath a cheery facade.

When brands foster awareness among potential customers, they’re often triggering memories of suffering and despair. For example, when Amy* sees a billboard for a resort package in Cuba, she’s reminded of the uprising that forced her grandparents to flee in the dead of night, only to see them be…


Navel gazing

Frank and Oak sells linen now but nothing from there fits me. The flour at Elena last night made the dough shitty but the chef there is amazing. My Google Home makes me feel less alone but it was free with Spotify. Don’t even talk to me before I’ve had my morning negroni. Just kidding! Oh my god. Do you want to check out Wine Club at Datcha with me?

I can’t believe another weed cafe opened up on St. Denis. They can’t even sell anything with weed in it. Let’s get drinks some time? We have so much to…


Malcontent Strategy

We all have superstitions — even the least ‘stitious among us. But have you ever considered how your superstitions might be affecting you in the workplace?

The tendency to avoid cracks on the sidewalk is a common one. It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump away from breaking your mother’s back, but when you put things in perspective, it actually seems to merit the risk.

Living in fear of stepping on the crack can actually inhibit you from achieving your goals. My advice? Don’t be too “crack-averse”.

Embrace the crack! The “crack” might lead you towards euphoric experiences…

Jesse Martin-Miller

I’m terrified of aging but I do it every day. Imposter syndrome survivor. Just kidding what am I doing here

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